Who can boast that he is really a good dad or mom? Hand on heart, very few people say about themselves that. We are all human beings and we all have certain weaknesses. For example, many will prefer to scold a child, and not try to understand him. So in fact it is much easier.
But there is another way. Let it be more difficult, but it brings better results. If you educate your child by your own example and talk with him as an adult, respecting his personality, you will grow your pride! Such a child will be independent and optimistic from a young age.
Any parent knows these phrases. In the heat of the day, in anger and frustration, it happens that we strongly offend the children, without understanding it ourselves. It hinders the development of a full-fledged, healthy person. Be conscious! Watch what you say, because words carry a lot of important information to a new person, which he immediately reads and remembers. Even a very tiny baby will understand what exactly you mean - by intonation.
Try to choose the right expressions and how you say them. But these, below the above formulations, in no case need to be voiced to children. Why? Read it, and you will understand everything ...
Prohibited phrases for parents:
1. You can not do anything - let me do it! Psychologists say that this phrase traumatizes the baby and preprogrammed to failure. He feels stupid and awkward, in the future he is afraid to show initiative, thinking that his mother will scream again.
2. Take it, just calm down! It's hard for some parents to endure the many hours of mournful "please, well, give me". But, agreeing to give the baby what he asks, you let the child know: all you can do with whining and persuasion, and no need to take my mother seriously. This will provide you with a rude child, full of selfishness.
3. Once again I'll see it - you'll get it from me! As practice has shown, things do not get further than threats. Neither mom nor dad will carry out punishment, and the child will only be frightened. Such a phrase in children causes only resentment and bewilderment. Do not scare your little one. The child should know exactly what to expect in this or that case. And sudden disruptions of parents will lead to nothing good.
4.I said: "Stop it immediately!"
Do not talk so abruptly with a baby! It's your baby! If you failed, it's better to apologize. The child is offended, feeling completely disenfranchised. And instead of "stopping" starts to protest, babies cry and are capricious, teenagers silently leave and become isolated in themselves. In general, whatever one may say, this phrase does not help you achieve what you want.
5.You must understand that ... Many children have a defensive reaction to this phrase and its boring sequel. The kid does not understand morality and, not listening to you, switches to something else. Worst of all, teachings are perceived by the child when he is agitated, upset or angry. Remember, he is also a person who has some kind of "problem", and at the moment he is concerned about it. In this state, he is incapable of understanding even the most sensible and correct reasoning.
6.Boys (girls) do not behave this way! Constantly repeating this, parents instill in the child certain stereotypes. In adulthood, a grown-up boy will already perceive his own emotionality as something unworthy, and a girl will experience complexes about a "non-business" profession or an insufficiently cleaned apartment.
7.Do not be upset about the nonsense! Perhaps for the baby, this is not nonsense! Remember yourself as a child. Yes, the child can be upset that they did not give him a car or the house of cubes crumbled. After all, in his small world, it is the car and the house - the most important! Demonstrating neglect of the problems of the child, you risk losing his confidence and not knowing in the future about other, not trivial problems of your baby.
8.Save my health!
Often some mothers say this to babies. But understand, sooner or later all this ceases to be taken seriously, as in a fairy tale about a shepherd and wolves. And the child's really bad state of health can not pay attention due to habit. He will think that his mother complains, if only he stopped making noise, jumping, playing and all that. You can not abuse such expressions!
9.No, we will not buy it - there is no money (expensive)! It's hard to explain to the baby why it's not worth buying everything. But it turns out if mom or dad have money - you can buy in the store, that will fall under your arm! The kid understands this phrase just like that. Is it not better to say, Mom and Dad: "You already have such a toy," "chocolate is much harmful." Yes, it's always difficult to explain! But the child must understand why his parents do not buy it.
10.Everyone has children, like children, and you ... ...
punishment, slob, sloppiness, etc. Do not hang such labels on children! This destroys self-esteem, and the child really begins to correspond to such words. Think about it, would you like to hear it?
"I give my heart to children" - the slogan of the famous teacher Sukhomlinsky, who we all need to remember from time to time. It is impossible to educate a small person well without investing in this soul. Do and say everything that concerns the child, with love - and this will be rewarded to you a hundredfold.
Be sure to share this article with other parents! Adult people also need education and good advice.