When we finally get to the psychologist, it means that the advice of friends and friends has stopped helping, and you need the consolation of not too close a person. When we ask for help with advice on how to build relationships, we usually try to save them, get them back or get love.
However, at the same time, we seldom realize the following: do you need this, your psychological comfort? If you want to be patted on the head, comforted, deceived, saying that everything will be fine, you just need to be patient - for this, it is easy to find a psychologist with a diploma, able to listen and comfort.
But perhaps you are ready to hear the truth - the truth that will throw off the shackles of the neurosis in which you are driving yourself, trying to achieve the impossible, and you will get psychological comfort from living in peace with yourself, without humiliation and belittling your sense of self worth.
Do you know what a fundamental difference between a psychologically healthy person and a neurotic?
A healthy person is also capable of experiencing mental suffering, but he does not invent them, he lives with real stories of his life. But the neurotic invented, think out and devises something that there is no reality. In the neurotic, the mind goes for reason from fictional love stories and not very stories.
If, in reality, he does not have enough food for suffering, for this he always has at his fingertips soul-searching movie stories or, at worst, Kafka and Dostoevsky - for intellectuals. Well, for a complete set is not enough to quench grief in a glass. And feel sorry for yourself regret.
The reasons for the majority of women's psychological problems is not that the dream man behaved "like the last ass ". The reason is that the lady has a neurosis, and he demands his exit. For this purpose, a completely definite relationship is needed and a person of a certain storehouse - one that will make her suffer. If a woman wants to end her suffering - she just needs to stop looking for relationships with those who make her feel unhappy
A mentally healthy person should not want to get married. Healthy psyche in our time sees a prosperous life in a stable relationship with a partner, based on understanding, trust and harmonious sexual relations. Therefore, in order to find happiness in your personal life, the first thing to do is to stop wanting to get married. In other words, if you want to be happy in a marriage, first of all, you should stop being fixated on this idea, looking for a relationship with a worthy person, ng the idea, not making it an end in itself.
-If someone replaces the whole world for you, then you simply do not have this world of your own.
-The key to long-term happiness in family life, in marriage and in sex with one partner is only one major component - a stable psyche.
-This is not what psychologists usually say, for happiness in marriage is not the basic ability to compromise or concessions. Eternal concessions are a direct way to cardiologists or even worse - to oncologists.
-The reason will be the eternal suppression of his "I" and discontent with himself and relationships - and in general with his whole life. But if a person has a stable psyche, this ensures a normal life in complete harmony with himself and with the same partner. And to love you will be his one.
-Why do we change the power of love by the amount of suffering that it brings to us?
To healthy love without neuroses, it does not apply. Healthy love is measured by how much you are happy in a relationship.
-Do you want to make your child happy?
Then do something with yourself. Only happy parents have happy children. Psychic parents never have healthy and happy children.
- For some reason, absolutely psychotic adults often try to help the child. So, in this case, the flight attendant's advice does not work on the plane: "first put on the mask to the child, and then - to yourself." So if you want to do well to your child - take care of the health of your head.
- A healthy person will always choose in a relationship with another himself, but the neurotics have the opposite - they choose attitudes that will go against the self.
This is the basis for a stable relationship.
- A woman never needs to endure in a relationship something that she does not like. If you do not want to become neurotic and destroy your personal life - you need to immediately talk about it. If a man does not want to change, he should be thrown, without delaying the parting.
- The feeling of loneliness is not when you do not have love. Loneliness is when you are not interesting to yourself. And this in 100% of cases comes from childhood. He who does not love and is not interesting to himself will never love and will not cause interest in himself.
- Any relationship of an adult person is his and only his choice. No one can force you to be with someone who does not interest you or has ceased to interest you. In human life there is only one period of time when other people have power over your life - this is your childhood. It is in childhood that a child is a hostage to his parents and depends on them. The rest of life, in any relationship - you and only you choose with whom to beat you and how you live.
- If you are not satisfied with how a man behaves, you should not find excuses for his behavior. If a man does not call you back, for a woman with a healthy psyche means the end of the relationship. A girl with an unhealthy psyche after that in this man falls in love.